At age of 30 I felt like I am the saddest human being in the world and felt that if I didn’t do something with it I was going to die out of misery. I didn’t know who I really was anymore. I played somebody’s role, like on a stage, the role that the society/family expected to see. This is quite a vulnerable story I’ll be sharing but it’s only to show you that everyone is capable to have a life oneself desires. It only costs courage to step out of the comfort zone. That’s in fact where the magic happens!
At that time I didn’t know how to love and respect myself. I didn’t know what trusting myself means, neither how to manage my emotions. I was only present in my head – logic, ignoring listening to my heart totally. Everything around me was frustrating; job, relationship, life didn’t make sense anymore. I felt like I closed myself in my own prison, despite life looking pretty OK; having a great job, education, own roof above my head and a boyfriend. Also, I was very good at hiding what’s going on with me. People have seen me as; an always smiling, open and friendly girl. I definitely wasn’t a true and authentic person. I was basically lost. I also used to hold believes that possessing things, going shopping and travelling equals happiness.
Do you relate to any of above? Do you know what that feeling is when you feel lost, stuck like hell and don’t know which way to go? When you are frustrated blaming everyone around you dreaming at the same time of someone who could solve the problem for you.
The breaking moment was, when I decided to leave Poland back in 2004, going for the adventure to the US and escaping from what was not comfortable. I let some people down badly, nevertheless despite my misery I stood up for myself, my truth. I followed my heart.
Although, my logical part was saying that I would be punished one day, that I am a looser, the family will exclude me, deep in my heart I knew I wanted to travel more, have deeper personal relationship and speak fluent English. I was afraid of my future since I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, there was nothing prepared on the other continent. However, I got attached to what I valued most and what I was longing for to have more in life. This is actually the place where magic happens – positive things show up on our journey when we respect our inner needs and have courage to step out of the comfort zone.
And, here comes the truth! Nobody will sort things for us. Life will throw lessons on our path as many times until we learn it. WE are the only ones responsible for our own happiness and fulfillment. In order to have it we need to slow down, look inside ourselves, take responsibility, connect to our values and learn how to self-manage.
Today, I can tell you that I had a 4 year trip of a lifetime and I am so grateful to myself for that decision. Although the misery came with me I managed to lose it at some point. I travelled all around the US and had plenty of adventures, I met amazing people, I learned big lessons, and most preciously I came across coaching profession which helped me to transform into a balanced person I am today. I unfolded some hidden talents, became more genuine and living the truth. I enjoy every minute of my life being aligned with my values, helping others to fulfill their goals. What I am trying to tell you by sharing my story is that, it’s OK to say NO to things that aren’t serving us anymore. I do encourage you going out of your comfort zone and doing something unwise for mind but true to your heart.
I will share here a few coaching steps, hoping you’ll find them useful.
Sit down in a quiet place, perhaps in the nature, take a few deep breaths, smell the air, notice and listen to the sounds around you, what you feel in your body, mind and heart with no judgment, just name it. Then ask yourself a question: what do you really want?
Be honest with yourself. Pick the most important thing (a value) and imagine yourself having it today asking following:
What will that give you? Who will you be when you get it? What will happen around you? What others will benefit from it? How is it to feel that you deserved it? What will you do in order to respect this value/s? What will you say Yes or No to today? Observe what is happening on that journey, ask someone to keep you accountable – meaning that they can check on you if you follow what you promised. Set a date, by when will you do it and go!
If you wish to follow your heart more fully, please contact me. Sample session is free.